so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
