know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
