Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
