a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
