I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
