I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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