When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
