I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
