Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize