Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
