walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I seem to have left my pride at pride
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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