Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize