Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
