Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
