He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Randomize
