its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
