His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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