My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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