So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
