in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
