do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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