Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
