That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
