I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
