Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
