My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
