dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
