I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I have aggressive nipples.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
