fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
