normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
