I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
