I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
