she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
