the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
