just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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