Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
