god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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