I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
