She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
