Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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