My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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