for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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