Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
