Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
