you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
