New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
