we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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