all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
