I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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