I think I died a long time ago.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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