Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i drank out of a bidet.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
