Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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