Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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