the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
