who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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