I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
