So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
