True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize