she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize