how hairy? two words: wookie tits
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
