if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
