she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize