Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
