In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
