I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
