new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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