Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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