Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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