like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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