It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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