Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so let's talk penis.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
