I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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