It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize